As a new mom, only a few things are more stressful than having your baby taken from your arms and not given back when requested.
Unfortunately, this is a common struggle many mothers face when it comes to overbearing or controlling mothers-in-law.
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I remember going through this when my mother-in-law visited after the birth of my daughter. Despite my asking, she refused to hand back my little one. In the moment I felt hurt, frustrated and powerless.
If you have faced a similar situation where your mother in law won’t give baby back to you, know that you are not alone.
In this post I’ll give you some tips on how to deal with this delicate issue in a constructive way.
Communicate Clearly But Kindly
When your mother-in-law just won’t relinquish your baby, it’s understandable to feel angry and want to raise your voice.
However, avoid using an accusing tone and remain as calm as possible.
Say something like “I’d like to feed her now please” or “It’s time for his nap, I’m going to take him upstairs”.
Be firm and clear, but not confrontational.
Also Read: Toddler Grabbing Tongue
You can also promise she can hold the baby again after you’ve cared for LOs needs.
If this is an ongoing issue, you may need to limit unsupervised visits, at least temporarily.
Politely explain your baby’s routine and needs that you as the mother must attend to. Don’t be afraid to promptly step in and take the baby when you feel it’s time.
You are the parent, and your mother-in-law needs to respect that.
Involve Your Partner
Discuss the issue privately with your husband and present a united front.
When your mother-in-law refuses to hand over the baby, your partner should step in and say “Mom, please give the baby back, Kate needs to feed her now”.
Also Read: No One To Watch Child During Labor
Their voice often carries more weight.
Your partner should remind their mother that she needs to respect your role as the baby’s mom.
Seek Outside Support
If tensions continue, seek outside assistance.
A neutral third-party counselor can help you hash out your issues with your mother-in-law.
Friends and family members who reinforce your boundaries with love also help.
Also, joining new mom groups or forums like BabyCenter or MumsTalk can provide moral support and advice from moms facing similar struggles.
Remember, setting loving boundaries now helps build a healthier relationship between grandma, mom and baby in the long run.
Though it might be difficult, remain calm, communicate clearly and trust your instincts if your mother in law won’t give baby back
Your baby needs you first and foremost. With time and consistency, this situation can improve.