I Spanked My 3 Year Old And Feel Terrible

If you’re reading this, it means you’ve likely done something you regret – you spanked your 3 year old in a moment of anger and frustration.

Now the hard knot of guilt sits heavy in your stomach as you replay those blurry seconds over and over again.

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First, take a few deep breaths. What’s done is done.

Beating yourself up won’t help your child. The most important thing is how you move forward from here.

Believe me, I know those sickening feelings all too well. I’m not here to judge you. I’m here to help, because I too lost control and struck my screaming toddler’s bottom at my wits end.

The shame was overwhelming, the tears endless. But with time and effort, we healed.

You are not defined by your worst mistake. This can actually be the start of building an even better relationship with your child, if you let it.

#1 Give Yourself Time To Cool Off

It’s tempting to rush right to your child for comfort, but they will pick up on your emotional state.

Take some time – an hour or more – to calm down before attempting to interact again.

Breathe deeply, pray or meditate if that helps, or talk to your partner or a friend if possible. Just vent all the guilt, confusion, and regret until your heart rate slows.

#2 Apologize Sincerely

Once you’ve calmed down, go to your child and apologize.

Also Read: Mother In Law Won’t Give Baby Back

Get on their level and explain in simple terms that hitting is never ok, even by mommies and daddies, and say you’re very sorry.

Keep it brief but heartfelt, and resist justifying why you did it – the focus is making amends.

Little ones look to us to model behavior. When we own our mistakes, it teaches them to do the same someday. If they see you make amends, that will stay with them.

#3 Focus On Rebuilding Trust

In the coming days, focus on quality time together – gentle hugs, reading stories, playing games. When your child feels safe and loved again, then you can revisit the topic to make sure the lesson sticks.

Say, “I never want to spank you like that again. Can we talk about better ways I can deal with my frustration?”

#4 Reflect On What Triggered You

Now examine what led up to the spanking. Were you sleep deprived? Feeling overloaded?

Identify your triggers so you can be proactive about self-care and avoiding similar situations.

If your child exhibits challenging behavior, look honestly at how you respond.

There are usually alternatives to spanking, like giving them space, using a timer, or having them sit quietly with you. Make a plan for next time tension escalates.