How I Became a Stay At Home Mom (SAHM)
I wanted to share how I became a stay-at-home mom with you. I wasn’t sure it would ever be possible and didn’t think our family could survive off of one income. However, we are making it work and I love getting to be at home with my son.
If you are thinking of becoming a stay-at-home mom, I hope my story can help you!
From the time I was young, I had always dreamed of being a mom someday. I never would have guessed that I would be able to be a stay-at-home mom though. The financial aspect of it was what stopped me from thinking that it would ever be a possibility.
I have worked a job from the age of 15. At the age of 17, I started supporting myself and was working full-time along with going to high school. There was never enough money, and I was always scraping to get by. These years of struggling created a scarcity mindset around money and I still fight against that way of thinking.
Along with thinking it just wasn’t financially possible, I never thought that I would find a partner who would support this decision. Who would support me financially. I have always thought that if I wasn’t paying my share of everything, that I was not contributing enough and that made me really uncomfortable. By 2017, I had purchased my own home and was making things work but still on a tight budget.
In 2017, I started dating my current husband. We had decided we wanted children in the future and that we would like for me to stay at home with them if possible. It still seemed hard for me to imagine living off of one income.
We got married in 2019. At the same time, we sold my house, paid off a lot of debt, and bought a different home. Both of us really wanted children in our future, but we were holding off to get our house fixed up and pay off some debt.
Leaving My Job
In 2020, I started having major issues with my boss (harassment, moral issues, etc.) and decided to leave my job. I was making the most money I had ever made, and it was really hard to walk away from that. However, the stress just wasn’t worth it.
I had finally sat down and went over our expenses. I saw that we could live solely off of my husband’s income, but it would be tight. To make one income work, we had to cut expenses and would be in trouble if we didn’t stick to a zero-based budget. We had not been saving like we should have and still had quite a bit of student loan debt between us.
We decided to make it work on a tight budget and I left my job.
Owning a Business From Home
Shortly after, I started my own floral business from home. I had used sola wood flowers for our wedding flowers and noticed a market for them locally. I started selling arrangements and wedding flowers. The money I brought in was enough to help out with our bills and take some stress off of our budget.
In 2021, I turned 30 and started to worry about having enough time to start our family. We decided it was time to start trying and I became pregnant soon after. I continued with my flower business up until the last few months of pregnancy.
During this time, we had refinanced our home. We completed some upgrades to make it livable with a baby and put some into savings to help cover the cost of birth and baby essentials.
We decided I should focus on recovering and taking care of the baby for a while before returning to my business. I let my customers know I would be taking a break and would return to my business as I had time (we are nearly at 4 months, and I still haven’t had the time so we’ll see how that goes). It has been comforting to know that I have the possibility of flexible work if I need it though.
Becoming a Stay at Home Mom (SAHM)
At the end of 2021, our son was born. I had an emergency c-section and ended up taking a lot longer than I had planned to recover. Since I had already been on a break from working during the last part of my pregnancy, there wasn’t a huge transition workwise. However, the transition to motherhood was definitely a big change.
My husband took three weeks off work to help with the baby while I recovered. After that, I was alone at home with the baby. I knew before I had our son that motherhood was unknown territory and I wasn’t quite sure what to expect. There was no way of preparing myself for the hard work to come. Being a mom has been the hardest and most rewarding thing I’ve ever done.
Steps I Took to Become a Stay at Home Mom (SAHM)
- Have support – without my husband, my situation may be very different. There are a lot of single, work-from-home moms out there though so it is possible. If you don’t have support at home, you should seek it from friends or family because being a mom is hard, especially if you’re doing it alone.
- Make a plan – we timed out generally when we would have a baby and that I would stay home with him. If you already have children, your plan will involve how to get you at home with them.
- Determine an income source – this may be your partner’s income or your own income if you are going to work from home.
- Determine a budget and stick to it- I think a zero-dollar budget is best. Especially if you don’t have a lot of additional income.
- Communicate – communication is key in managing your household. If you don’t have a partner, making sure you keep yourself accountable is important when it comes to scheduling and budgeting.
How Being a Stay at Home Mom (SAHM) is Going
During the first few months, I didn’t even have time to shower or eat let alone think about work. After developing a bit of a schedule, I am able to keep up with the house a bit more but still I don’t see room for work on top of that. We are also getting along just fine with a tight budget and I’m not in a hurry to rush through enjoying our baby.
Being a stay-at-home mom is the hardest job I have ever had! I wouldn’t trade it but realize now why it’s not for everyone. There are really no breaks and I have never been more exhausted. Taking care of the baby during the day, night feedings, and trying to juggle housework is way more than a full-time job.
Are You a Stay at Home Mom (SAHM)?
Are you a stay-at-home mom or thinking of becoming one? I know that it is increasingly hard for couples to live off one salary. If you are single, you may be working from home to make things work. I’d love to hear how you make things work and how it’s going. Drop a comment below and let me know.